and I'm happy here

There’s a Barenaked Ladies song I used to love — still love, it’s just fallen out of the rotation — called “The Old Apartment.” The singer is metaphorically walking through an old apartment, post-breakup, “this is where we used to live.”

We all get nostalgic and spend time walking around in memories. Faded memories. We want them back.

It’s why we hold onto things — pictures, ticket stubs, playbills, buttons, tchotchkes — for those little reminders of the good times had. The places we’ve seen.

I don’t know if it is genetic (probably) or because I know my memory is garbage and needs reminding (definitely), but I am wildly sentimental and hold on to things as a way to keep wonderful experiences, memories, moments, from slipping away.

Some such mementos are bigger than others.

We’re still getting settled into our new home. Last weekend the final haul of random stuff that was too big, too small, too unclassified to make it into a box finally made its way to over.

While Justin was sweating it out (it’s still hot here in NC) hauling assorted belongings, I hosted a friend and her girls for a playdate with the kids.

After hours of sorting, lifting, moving, pushing the last dust-covered, obviously not-critical-for-daily-life stuff from one (still unsold 😑) house to the next, Justin was pretty spent.

Among such “treasures” one could find a poster-size collage of my thank-God-Facebook-wasn’t-a-thing pictures in a flimsy, poster-size plastic frame.

Justin brought the collage into the house to show off my artistic talents and finest collegiate moments for all.

I look back on those days at Radford with love and fondness, as much as I grew and learned and loved and lost and tried and failed and won, those days are a part of my history, but they’re that. History. They’re no longer relevant to my day-to-day (amazing humans excluded) life. Those moments, parties, places, lessons, they are in my DNA. I make decisions now based in part on what I did, who I knew, what I learned then. Those pictures hold a lot.

I quickly flipped the frame around to display what is equal parts cringey and amazing.

The backside of that frame contains a memory from one day which has honestly scarred me more than any other mistake I made in college (OK, we know by now that I am DRAMATIC, well always, but especially to make good reading, right?).

Summer 2004, Dad and I were traveling up to Long Island (shout out JONES FAM) for a visit. As visits often did/do, we planned a City day.

Let me back you up for a second here.

When I applied to — and was ultimately offered admission to — Radford University, I accepted, fully intending to become a nurse. RU had (and still has!) a stellar reputation as a nursing school and I — ever the bleeding heart — needing to pursue a career that would help those in need.

Spoiler, I suck at math and some (most) sciences.

I made a pivot going into junior year when I, upon reflecting on my academic success, realized storytelling was my strength and declared journalism my major.

OK, back to the past: 2004.

Dad and I got VIP access (thanks, Uncle KC!) to the Today Show when the Barenaked Ladies were performing during their summer concert series. Chickity oh yeah!

I made a sign. Picked out my outfit. Woke up before the bars closed for the night. Caught the train.

I wore my cutest white denim cutoff — and somehow flared? — skirt with a neon green Hollister tshirt. The kids today would not call it fire. But for 2004, it was “so hot.”

When we got to Herald Square we were escorted to the VIP section which was, and I am not making this up, breathing on Katie and Matt. I was psyched.

Barenaked Ladies came out for their soundcheck and immediately clocked my sign.

You see, I meant well. But alas, I was not quite as self-aware as I am today. I was such a fresh, young, naive, babe. Oh, bless her. Oh she meant so well but was so …. Well … she had much to learn.

OG band member Steven Page asked if he could borrow my sign. Me — deer-in-headlights look on my face — said, of course?! What am I doing with this piece of paper anyway?

I haven’t watched the Today Show since my days interning at GMA (because if nothing else, I’m loyal!), but back then the anchors sat at a desk with their backs to a glass wall looking out at Herald Square. Steven, with my sign, ran up to the glass wall, surrounded by fans, jumping up and down, my sign over Katie's head as she read the news.

Again, for the performance, we were — and I can’t emphasize this enough —breathing on the anchors. RIGHT there in front of the action! Stage, anchors, US, the masses.

Me with my big, dumb sign standing just hoping to get to say hi to Katie freaking Couric and tell her my dream: to be like her. Next to my dad, rocking out to BNL.

Katie never came over. My dad, we later found, made it into the broadcast multiple times.

I was overlooked. Possibly because of my height? Or was it because I am an idiot who, rather than expressing a desire to be like Katie, to learn from Katie, rather articulated a desire to take her down and replace her.

Sigh.

We spent the rest of the day doing some of our favorite NYC things. Eating hot dogs from street carts, taking in Shakespeare in the Park (thankfully I didn’t try to get Sam Waterston’s attention with a sign), eating street pretzels (always in it for the snacks), stopping to photograph the mundane, routine in the larger-than-life city, walking the length and width of the island.

Finally we made our way back to Hicksville, completely spent, and with my dumb poster, now a little smarter thanks to an autograph from Steven Page.

You guys, I really wanted to meet Katie. I wanted her to know I wanted to be just like her. That I idolized her. Was inspired by her.

What my poster conveyed … I’ll let you guys figure that out.

It was 2004, and I’m STILL cringing!

Today Katie and I have more in common than we did back then. We're both survivors. She's still a better journalist, but I've moved on from that goal. I’m a story teller, a cancer fighter. We’re both survivors.

My meeting with Dan Akyroyd did go slightly better and I didn’t actually knock over Barbara Walters when I saw her at the ABC offices uptown. So, yeah, I’m great at meeting my heroes.

But if you’ve got a KC connection, LMK. I’d love to chat.

Bonus: See if you can spot Dave Jones in the Today Show recording from our visit! He makes it on screen a few times: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gy61Eo3S1yU&list=RDgy61Eo3S1yU&start_radio=1